Popped!

In the world full of stress, it can be gleaned that almost everybody is living in a fast pacing scenario. Personally, I don’t even realize where do the past 26 years of my life go that I felt so empty now.

Even the 14 years old now have relationships and claims that they found their “forever.” Why does everybody be obsessed in finding their “forever” by the way?!

I’m 26, and pressure from family and other close relatives of not having a boyfriend is slowly building up. I know the feeling of being in love, but I don’t know who the right one for me is (but I know who not the right one is)

One random day, a friend introduced me to a dating app (Tinder, which I don’t recommend it especially to gullible people), which the primary purpose is to meet somebody who might me the one. I used the app for just a couple of weeks because it is quite annoying.

It was just a simple app where in you chose the guy you like, and if he likes you back you’re a match! I had 20+ matches but talked to only a few. Until one day, a match caught my attention because he didn’t greet me in a usual “hi” or “hello” way.

We only had a night of conversation, but he was able to make me laugh so hard. Yup, his humor is making my shield disappear. In the end, he disarmed me. I am starting to like him slowly. He is intelligent, good sense of humor and very straightforward. He is so honest (I think, how you can validate honesty from a stranger, right?).

He was open at the very start that being in a relationship is not in his mind (or that’s what I think). But what can I do, I am falling, yup guys! I’m 26 and still falling for a guy I just met on the internet, a guy whom I barely know, I never saw or talked to even on the phone.

I liked him, and you can’t imagine how I liked him. The day came, and we met. He went to pick me up in my condo; the guard won’t let him in to wait in the lobby because I didn’t give him my unit number for security reasons. So I came down and went to him. He looked just like in pictures, and he is 3 centimeters taller than me, so cute.

I gave him a kiss on the cheek (I didn’t saw that coming, my reflexes are so dumb and flirt). He took me to a dessert shop, surprisingly, I wasn’t nervous at all, nothing. I felt nothing. But when we are on our way, I was sending my best friend all the details I know about him because who knows I might end up a raped victim in a river.

He was trying to converse with me; I responded normally but every time there is dead air, I keep on assessing myself, “what am I doing?”. “The night might not end up well, and you know what might happened so don’t deny it.”

I made a record that girls shouldn’t follow; the generation now should be aware that instant things don’t end like fairy tales. I grew up watching fairy tales and dramas. I thought I could change his mind and his heart. I thought I can make him interested in me, but I was terribly wrong.

I slept with him, at first, I was reading his gestures if he is planning to take me to bed. Then yep, he did. He kissed me; I felt nothing. He hugged me; I felt nothing. He caressed me; I felt nothing. Yup! I liked him, but I wasn’t turned on. So why do I still did it? Because I’m stupid, 17 years of going to school, and one year in Masters, and still I’m dumb as a potato. Shame on my tuition fees.

I don’t know if I am insensitive or one night stand is not my thing. In the first place, I won’t go out with this guy if I don’t like him. But he wanted more, and it’s different from what I like. I thought going to bed with him will make him like me, want me, interested in me, and love me.

I thought sharing the sheets will disarm him too, but nope. He was sweet in bed, good in bed, gentle in bed but HE DIDNT LOVED ME AFTER!

The cherry got popped, and nothing happened. He came and left without a trace. The only thing he gave me is worries if I will get pregnant (although I’m on mini-pills). Nothing more, nothing less. And guys, hold on, the sad part is, after everything, I STILL LIKED HIM, AND IT GREW STRONGER AS EVER.

Yup, I am emotionally unstable, I thought I can do it. I thought I could just brush it off. But nope. Nah uh, can’t be undone. Cherries that are popped and permanent and can’t be unpopped. The only lesson I want you to get from this is sure you are ready to handle the emotional hassle in giving your virginity to random people or even to your partner. Elders says give it to your husband, how sure are you that your husband will be your forever? So there is no particular person whom others can accurately dictate you that he should get you pop.

Even how strong you think you like him, think about it many times until you get sick about the thought of it.  I don’t question with whom you’ll give it I just want to warn you about the attachment after. I was ready for everything except for this attachment thing. It doesn’t come off in days, weeks or months.

This story should have been beautiful if he likes me too, but Barny’s song is not always right (you love me, I love you). The 8 hours I was with him is spectacular and if you ask me again if I’m going to do it again, I will (because I like him this much). He will always be with me forever; It might not be a mutual relationship, but I think I found my “the best thing I never had.” ='(

 

 

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